Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize