So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
