We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
