I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
