So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
