He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
