I wanna bring you to show and tell
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
