Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
