She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
