Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize