what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
