Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
