Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
