She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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