I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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