party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize