My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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