He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
