No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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