I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
