Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize