Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
