You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
