Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
