You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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