I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
