i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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