I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
