I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
