I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
