I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
