I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
