Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
