is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
