so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
