I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
