Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
