the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
