I need help removing her.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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