wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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