Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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