How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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