So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
