Pappa wants mamma naked
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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