Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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