You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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