i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
