I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize