she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
