did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
