No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
