And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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