At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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