Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
