"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I am never drinking with the goths again.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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