"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
