the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
