not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
