Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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