nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
